Sunday, 12 August 2012

Two Little Men on my Shoulders! GET OFF!!

I went home for the weekend for my son's soccer tournament (we lost in the semi-finals). Had lots of fun with the kids. My ex is living with me till he finds a place and that went ok. We never really gave each other any eye contact and he went out with his "buddies" Saturday night so that was good. He was out of my hair at least.
I decided to come to camp today. He wanted to take the kids to his mom's for a few days so I figured it would be a great opportunity to come up and enjoy some peace and tranquility for a few days.

The whole ride there found me with two little men sitting on each shoulder. It was unbelievable!

One was trying to convince me to pick up a case of beer. I have a gift card for the LCBO so it would be so convenient to grab a case on the way and it would be "free"!
Why shouldn't I get my beer. No one would know.  My kids aren't here. I could get sloshed with my camp buddies and have a friggen blast!  I could even get up tomorrow, have a drink at noon if I want and let loose. My mind was thinking...I don't have to tell my blogging friends.  They"ll never know.  

I feel so guilty leaving my children with that anus!  I feel awful because they don't want to go there for days at a time. It will be a rough separation that's for sure. I hate being away from my children.  So...why not get drunk.

That's what the two little guys on my shoulders did to me all the way to camp!

I got to camp, went to visit my friend and they were drinking beer.  I had my water bottle in my hand, thank goodness.  They offered me a beer or wine or a Caesar. I said no thanks.
Trust me!  I wanted to drink real bad.  I don't know how the craving went away but the two little men on my shoulders must not like water!   Maybe, reading other blogs for the last hour has helped with that. Not sure.

I'm going to watch a movie, alone, with my dogs and my blanket and my water.
Thinking of you my blogging friends. If I didn't have you, I'd be drunk right now!

But the craving is gone for now.   I know it will come back and those two little guys on my shoulders will find their way back too.  I hope I can remain as strong as I was today .


  1. congrats to you, temptation avoided. watch those craving guys, though, cuz they've had some time to play and may try to tempt you again, at breakfast, hey let's have caesars for breakfast! why not, there's clamato juice in them! healthy!

    i check your blog every morning when i get up, to see what you've learned, to see what I can learn. you think we're helping you but i assure you the feeling is mutual. hugs from the cyberworld. ~Belle

  2. Hey Jen, great to read your post and see you overcoming a challenging situation, keep at it!

  3. I read a post recently about that "no one will ever know" feeling and the author pointed out that we would know we'd had a drink. That is what keeps me sober because I can't live like I did before. These two little men are real pains in the asses in the early days, but you did the right thing by seeking out company (in real life and here!) and in carrying your bottled water. Your camp sounds really lovely...hope you enjoy the tranquility. Kristen

  4. Yes we just need to tell those little men to f%#* off sometimes. I also have had the thought - no-one will know and I dont have to tell my blogging friends, but in the end as BBB says we will know and then the self loathing starts all over again. If we can just think about how we will feel after we have drunk that tends to help. You're doing so well Jen congrats!

  5. yup, im right there with you. no one will know but you and you can't lie to yourself!! so good for you! we're here for you!