Friday 5 October 2012

Breathe.....

(2nd post today) How many times have we woken up the next day, and thought "Never again!  I can't drink anymore!  I quit!  I feel like shit!  I'm going on the wagon!"  Many people, including non-alcoholics say this.  Many of them can really live by the saying "I'm on the wagon" and feel good about that.
Many of us alcoholics can stay on the wagon until the horses bring us to another red barn.  The red barn contains our friends that are waiting for us with the drink and they are ready to party with them.  The horse stops, we get off the wagon and fall right back to where we were in the beginning.  We just feel new guilt and new remorse and the cycle thus continues.

Although we realize that alcoholism is a permanent, irreversible condition, our experience has taught us to make no long-term promises about staying sober.  (taken from Living Sober)

This is so true.  I, like many of us, often ask ourselves "Do I really want to quit for the rest of my life?" This is the question we are so often faced with and we all know that the answer "No way"

But, we keep finding ourselves in the same damn situation.  One of defeat and despair because we decided to pick up that one drink.

How does one stay sober for a year? or twenty years?  If he or she can do it, we know it is possible!  Is is will-power?  Is it determination?  Is it the realization that we are allergic to booze and cannot have it in our lives because we don't want to be sick?

It needs to be a daily focus!  An hourly focus! A minute at a time focus!
It needs to be awareness of our triggers.  It needs to be the fact that we don't want a hangover.  It needs to be the fact that we don't want to be dependent on the drink!

Something eventually clicks.

Life is daily; today is all we have; and anybody can go one day without drinking.  (taken from Living Sober)


What triggered me today?  

My hyperactive children wanting my attention , my dogs that pissed on my floor, my ex-husband that keeps harassing me...????    These are my triggers.  What did I do about them?  I closed my eyes for a power snooze for 20 minutes, then played with kids and ordered pizza, and breathed.  ...just breathed....


2 comments:

  1. I'm glad you chose snooze and not booze today.
    Take care

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Jen, how did your weekend pan out? Hope all is good, paul

    ReplyDelete