Tuesday, 16 October 2012

Cravings still exist...

I met my sisters for dinner after a very long stressful day. I didn't want to go because I was tired and bitchy. I just wanted to crawl into my hole and be left alone. We don't get together too often because of our separate busy lives so I dragged my arse out.

 All the way there, I thought "Gosh, a nice cold Ceasar would be perfect right now....or even a nice glass of red wine".  I just wanted to unwind and numb my mind for 30 friggen minutes.   I even thought of going into the restaurant a little early so I could down a drink before the sisters got there. 

Why is it that I craved it today?

 Is it because since July 16th, when I officially stopped (with a couple of slip ups) I was focused on training for a marathon and now that its done, I'm done thinking of sobriety too? Is it because I feel like I deserve a damn break from the pressures of life and motherhood and exes and careers? It's the little demons playing in my head, saying heck....you deserve it Jen...just one to relax your mind.

I get that shit! It just sucks! It sucks!

didn't have a drink tonight and I still feel like I deserve a break. I did have a great evening with my sisters and a few good laughs. 

 I need to refocus and direct my thoughts to where I have been, what I've been through to get where I am today, and where I want to go in my future. 

 Goodnight Jen and all my blogging buds! 
God Bless!


  1. For me, I keep thinking that 30 days will be my magic number. If I can just make it to 30 days I will be home free. Now I am realizing that I may have cravings for a long, long time - forever maybe! I guess the important thing is learning how to effectively get through the cravings. Good for you for not having that drink!

  2. I can totally relate to "I need a break" I wonder if we set our lives up, doing everything, being everything to everyone (or trying to) so that we can have a drink??? I used to think I drank to get a hangover because it was the only time I had an excuse to rest.
    Good luck!