Weddings

Weddings....

Two beautiful people who love each other, exchange vows and commit to spending the rest of their Iives together.  It takes 15 minutes then  you're hitched for the rest of your life...

I still believe in marriage and commitment to that one person that will be my bestfriend forever.  Although, I'm going through the divorce stage in my life right now,  I do know and truly believe in love and fairy tale romances. I believe that somewhere, out there, is my other half.  The other half of me that when we are together become one.  It will happen.

Weddings....

A night of celebrations, toasts, dancing, and drinking...for most of us anyway.   I watched most people drink, socially, not to get drunk like I probably would have if I was drinking. May people just sipped and danced and felt good, but not drunk. I had a weak moment where I could have snuck some drinks from my little sister's glass but didn't. I had an awkward moment  when everyone stood up to toast the bride and groom with their wine glasses. I had an empty water bottle and hoped no one noticed.   I danced and laughed and had fun...sober. I took my son and niece back to the hotel early, which was probably in my best interest 

I woke up the next day feeling super great ,but tired ( the pillows sucked in my room so I didn't sleep well).   I was up early, brought kids some breakfast and was ready to run.  Saw my little sister and she looked at me, with her puffy eyes and said..."I wish I felt like you right now".  And THAT made it all worth it for me!  I got to run my 18 k in preparation for my big race weekend, coming up. I'm raising money for cancer.  

I have been eating more than I want to...especially deserts but I know that will pass too. 

Chapter 4 in my book "Living Sober" talks about how a person with a food allergy will not consume the food he or she is allergic to.   

For example, I teach a child who has a severe allergy to peanuts, thus our schools peanut-free!  The whole school population cannot bring any type of food that may contain peanuts to school.  Makes sense, doesn't it?  If my child was in those shoes, I'd do anything I can to protect him or her from having an anaphylactic reaction to peanuts!    Our job is to protect our children from anything that would harm them.  So, who is in charge of me?  I am!  I must remember that consuming alcohol makes me sick!  I can't have it around me...I don't want it in my home. The last two times I drank, I puked my guts out!  it literally makes me sick. I can't get a shot of Epipen and it will go away. 

We must learn to live with the bodies we have.   I ask myself quite often, how do other people do it?  And the answer is ...because they can.  They are not allergic to alcohol like I am

Alcoholism is incurable....just like some other illnesses.  It cannot be "cured" in this sense:  we cannot change our body chemistry and go back to be the normal, moderate social drinkers lots of us seemed to be in our youth. (from Living Sober)