My last post talked about the "allergies" our bodies have to certain things. For a long time, I struggled with my drinking. I knew it made me sick quite often and I knew it made me do things I wouldn't normally do. I also felt like I lived in a "fog" for most of my adult life, not really living it entirely and Fully Alive. It was like there was a hazy cloud around me, preventing me to see the beauty and gifts in my life. For the most part, I thought this was a normal way of living.
Being sober and accepting the fact that booze makes me sick...I see life in a whole different way. I've come to accept that my body cannot take booze like it use to or like others can. I've discovered so much about how and a normal life should be lived. I am blessed to have discovered this now instead of later or when it would have been too late. I still have many beautiful years ahead of me!
"Who has time to feel deprived or self-pitying when you find there are so many delights connected with living happily unafraid of your illness?". Living Sober
When I first decided to get my shit together and quit drinking, I did feel sorry for myself and often thought "Do I really want to do this for the rest of my life". I didn't want to accept that I had a disease or that I couldn't control myself when I drank. There's still a little part of me that thinks I can....that will probably always be there. But the bigger part of me that has accepted my fate as a person who gets sick with booze, has grown big time and knows which path she want my life to go through....the healthy one.
Anyone who wants it is welcome to a "free trial period" of this new concept of self. Afterward, anyone who wants the old days again is perfectly free to start them all over. It is your right to take back your misery if you want it. (Sober Living)
This statement is amazing! The new self! It's worth living for!
I'm heading out to the big city of Toronto Canada for the weekend. I won't have much time to blog because I'm preparing for my half-marathon. I won't have time to think about booze either.
I'll be living and living life to the fullest!
God Bless!
and there she goes, running off into the sunset :) yes, some days may suck, but the tradeoff is sooo worth it. you've tried taking back the misery, and it just ain't worth it.
ReplyDeleteHappy running to you. May you have 16C, no rain, grey skies, lots of water, and lots of anti-chaffing stick :) and a cool new t-shirt...
We seem to share simular stories. I started out this journey not really able to accept that I can NEVER drink. It seems so overwhelming at the time. How would I ever have fun? But the further I get in sobriety, the more I realise I don't WANT to drink again. I'm enjoying life so much more now! I'm really present, not just pushing through the days so that I can go home and drink.
ReplyDeleteYes, a fog. Totally a fog that I lived in and didn't even realise. Sometimes I feel sorry for the normal drinkers that they'll never get the chance to feel what we felt when we took the booze away and the fog was lifted - Life, Real Life, A New Self! I mean, it's not all peaches and roses, for sure... but overall it's really quite exciting and interesting and refreshing and .. just honest and real. And I love that. Good luck for the run! xxx
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